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August 19 Another late updateOK, I don't personally have much to say...I just know I need to put something up to catch up! My dear co-worker departed into retirement late last month and I still find myself getting teary if I think about it. We did a good send-off, at least. Work is total chaos but I'm sure it will be better approximately a year from now. I need to replenish my supply of books to read in my spare time. I turned 35 but am pleased to know even my co-workers aren't sure what age I am!
Odds and ends
I want to see Iron Man and The Dark Knight. In movie news, here is a great summary of why I don't really like Ben Stiller movies (though I am mildly intrigued by Tropic Thunder)....Click here to vote for Jim's coworker's band to get to open for Motley Crue! (Sorry, I don't know how to add umlauts.) Donate to the MDA!
I am still embarrassed at my behavior on the night of Dad's big birthday bash. It is horrible to feel your age because you just can't party the way you used to when you were 21. I can't believe after requesting so many songs at the party, Kris and I didn't even think to ask for one Pulp song! Jim and I are still waffling about having a third child. I think two is probably good enough, why push our luck? I don't want to decrease our quality of life by being conceited enough to procreate one more time. I do think there is a little blond, brown-eyed Thomas Carsten guilt-tripping me in the background of my mind, waiting to come out, but really, two is good enough and maybe three would be way too egoistic to pursue. But, does the law of diminishing returns really apply to little innocent children? Were it not for Ada asking every other day for a baby! And a dog, which should put things in proper perspective. Also, that I love taking care of babies (except for the keeping you up all night part, which isn't often). I wonder if just babysitting someone else's baby would be good enough? Somehow I doubt it. Anyway,
Recent outings
We did our first camping trip in a couple of years, this time to South Beach State Park in Newport. It was a nice campground, so cool that you could walk to the beach from it-- But the set up (loops of campsites around large group areas) made it seem more for big group camping trips rather than just one forlorn little family. I found out the day before our scheduled arrival that our reservation had been accidentally cancelled. I had reserved the perfect campsite-- It was on the same loop as restrooms, a children's playground, and adjacent to one of the shorter trails to the beach. Due to the accidental cancellation, we ended up in the loop furthest away from everything. The closest trail was a 1/2 mile trail, but very beautiful. Jim chose not to come with us on the trail so he could stay at the campsite and guard our stuff. We were in the same loop as a church camp retreat so I doubt we were really at risk for any thievery, but oh well....It would be more fun to go with another family or two so one parent could take the kids to the beach and the remaining parents could stay behind, "guard stuff" and relax. I'll be making plans for that next year.
It was so nice because we missed the 100-degree weather at home, but the beach was foggy. When we made it to the beach on Sunday morning, you couldn't see the ocean! It was still fun to play in the sand and walk in the water. After the beach, Rowan, Ada and I walked back to camp and Jim had packed everything up-- Then a thunderstorm erupted and dropped chubby rain everywhere, so we took that as our cue to head out. We went to Newport's historic bayfront and went to the cheesy Ripley's Believe or Not!, The Wax Works and Undersea Gardens exhibits. I feel so horrible now that I prematurely exposed Ada to the morbid horror of Ripley's and The Wax Works. There were times where Ada cried out, "I need to get out!" and bolted in the opposite direction. I don't know how many times I picked Ada up and jovially explained, "Don't worry, it's all pretend!" Really, she was not of the age that I should have had to make such explanations-- But I just didn't remember how morbid and gross these displays were. Especially the Ripley's displays, really inappropriate. I did a lot of covering Ada's eyes with my hands or turning her away from stuff-- Or, if she had the misfortune to have her eyes fall on something creepy, do the chortle of, "Don't worry, it's all pretend!" Talk about feeling like a bad parent.
Undersea Gardens was just gross. The water was filthy and they had no octopus...So in the canned narrative during the diving show (a 15-minute segment where someone in a diving suit tormented helpless sea creatures for our enjoyment), at the octopus segment an employee interrupted to inform us, "Unfortunately, we have no octopus to show you, but let's listen anyway." Gee, what happened to the octopus?! I'm glad I didn't see what the diver would have done to the octopus! It was bad enough seeing the diver toss the crab around in the water as it helplessly flailed its legs, frantically trying to find the bottom of the ocean floor again.
Kris and I went to Summer in the City with the kids....Rowan got his picture taken by a photographer for the local paper, and the photo made it here.....Ada loved the sandbox in the middle of the street, which only whetted her appetite for the beach trip! An old man told me I had "truly beautiful children" and that they were so well-mannered that it gave him hope for the future. That was nice!
It's been so long, I'm just moving backwards through time...I took Rowan and Ada to the art fair, it was nice just going to the kid stuff and not wandering around all the artwork the way Jim always wants to. We watched sword fights by the Children's Educational Theatre, which Rowan and Ada both loved, and they went to the face painting booth to get things painted on their arms (Rowan got a yin-yang symbol because he thought it was "kung-fu-like" and Ada got a spider). We did spin art, and Ada, mimicking the much bigger kid who preceded her, attempted double-fisting the paint bottles when applying paint. When it was time to stop, she wouldn't let go of the bottles and raised them up, fully pumping the bottles as she did so and drenching the attendant in paint. Oh, hooray! This was in front of a perfect-mom ex-coworker who was trying to convince her own precocious three-year-old to do the spin-art, so I felt like I let the mom team down.
The Fourth of July was one of the best for Rowan....Sue, Amy, Collier, Dad, Hayley, Jeremy and kids attended a BBQ at our house, and then we went to Dad's neighborhood to see the firework display sponsored by their neighborhood association. Rowan was enchanted and thought it was the best Fourth of July ever! The lack of a smoking area at our house also inspired Jim and I to have a pergola in the very back of the yard so smokers don't have to stand on the porch or in the garage. It's half- painted but will be beautiful when it's complete! The rain right now prevents full completion. There's a grapevine in the backyard that will grow over it nicely. Jim bought a table and chairs for the area for my birthday, made an ottoman and now we are thinking of getting a standing ashtray or two....
Rowan report
Rowan has had a rather full summer, exactly evenly divided between ostensibly stimulating day camps and day care at his school....In July, he did Willamette's Awesome Academic Adventures, starting on Monday and getting kicked out on Wednesday. The explanation being, "We aren't a school and don't have an office to send him to!" So, there I fail, yet again....At the last minute they offered before and after care for $40 a week (for those who couldn't drop off at 9 a.m. or pick up at 3 p.m.). I paid for it, but on day one, Jim reported that drop-off time was "chaos," having dropped him off at the requisite 9 a.m. Then on Tuesday, Jim dropped him off and reported that Rowan was just left hanging out in the lobby. I feel tempted to attribute this to Jim's poor social skills and not asking if there was a place to send Rowan for pre-care. On Wednesday, I dropped Rowan off and made sure he was taken to pre-care-- Which was a specific classroom for kids whose parents paid for pre-care! Then 1.5 hours later, I was called and asked to take Rowan away. I think it was probably the lack of consistency each morning that contributed to Rowan not handling being there very well. On Tuesday, I picked Rowan up at 3 p.m., having promised him an afternoon at my work, and had to talk to the teacher (a graduate teaching student at Willamette) about Rowan hitting and shoving kids at camp-- Great, not really characteristic of Rowan but how would they know that? Rowan explained that he was playing tag with two other kids, accidentally ran into another kid. The other kid got upset and called him names like "dummy" and "liar," and Rowan decided to smack the other kid in the face in response. Wow, I feel like such a great mom!
Rowan's daycare took him in for the rest of the week. I feel like I could hear the disappointment in the daycare manager's voice when she assented to taking Rowan in. Ugh. After that week, he went to Camp Invention, for which we had to purchase/find small appliances for him to take apart, plus yellow garb for him to wear since he would be in Team Yellow (yellow not being a hue I ever choose for any human to wear). A trip to Value Village took care of all that, we got two yellow t-shirts, a yellow pair of shorts, a clock radio and an inoperable remote control truck. One of the yellow shirts was a Cubix shirt, which was a big incentive for behaving-- "If you are good at camp on Monday, you can wear the Cubix shirt on Tuesday!!" Cubix, to digress, must have been a short-lived TV show and we bought a Cubix book at the lovely Book Habit half a year ago, and that book is one of Rowan's favorites (even though it makes no sense and really seems like a veiled anti-drug diatribe). He is so into making things at home, with recyclable materials, that I thought this camp would be a good fit. But he would often say it was boring. His boats were quite expert, from the several times we have made boats from recyclables at home, but the other stuff, specifically made with the small appliances, were very basic. I don't know if it's from being bored and not wanting to try very hard, or just the age. The clock radio he just taped a milk carton to and then declared it a truck that operated on oil (the carton being the oil tanker). He took apart the remote control truck and then fit the wheels on the top instead of the bottom and stuck a plastic Coke bottle on top and called that a "shooter." I mean, he is only 6! Sue and I went to the Camp Invention graduation program, which had an Olympic theme (hence making us understand the "Yellow Team" and other colored team themes), and had they showed a pretty amateur slideshow that you can see here.
The unrelenting day-camping continued the following week with Cautious Kids, a safety program offered by the school district. Collier drove Rowan from Cautious Kids back to daycare, which I hope was a relief for him! He had been scheduled for the afternoons in a Gilbert House day camp that was cancelled at the last minute due to lack of registrants (but I didn't find out about it until the Saturday before camp, and that was only by calling in to ask if it was still on). Collier and I went to the graduation program, which was so cute. I hate that I forgot my camera for this one-- Lots of skits, where Rowan had the longest line ("Hey, Mr. Policeman, there's a strange man bothering those little girls over there, so I think you should go and check it out"), and a series of songs from whatever soundtrack features McGruff, which was so cute!!!!! I'll probably enroll Rowan in Cautious Kids next year, so I'll have a chance to record it again!
Then, Rowan went back to daycare for a week, and got to go to Corvallis Swim Park. After that, it was back to day camps-- This time at Gilbert House. The morning was "Last Frontier," all about Alaska; the afternoon was "Mini Museum," where they learned about a different artist each day. He brought home the coolest paper Vincent Van Gogh mask (it looks like it's based on his self-portrait), made neat sculptures inspired by Monet, a Chagall-inspired pipe cleaner hat, and much more. Rowan seemed to really like that camp, since he loves doing art projects, so what a relief that was a good fit! I was so worried that going to the Gilbert House day camps would turn him off from Gilbert House, since along with OMSI it's one of his "favorite places in the world," but he didn't complain about these camps at all.
After a week at daycare, it's one last camp-- Another week at YMCA Adventure Camp. I reminded him that he was going to do that camp again and he was very adamant that he wouldn't like it, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It gives me hope that last night, after our camping trip, he said he didn't want to go back to daycare because it was "so boring" (he had never said this before, and all summer I had been getting the impression that he thought daycare was nicer than the day camps), and I pointed out that the idea of daycare being boring was why I had signed Rowan up for all the day camps. So maybe thinking of this last camp as an alternative to "boring" daycare will make things better. He seemed to ultimately like Adventure Camp, it will just be hard at first to ease back in. One of the counselors said that lots of kids go to Adventure Camp all summer, which makes me wonder if Rowan would like that? We'll see next year.
Ada update
Not much new to say...Naturally still struggling with regularly journeys to the toilet, and her insisting on acting like a big baby (complete with "goo-goos" and "ga-gas"), despite her being a perfectly delightful, intelligent lady who uses words like actually, just, except, enough, only, and the like with adorable accuracy! As a family, we are getting back into Mad Libs and Ada seems to enjoy that (which is nice, because Rowan got into Mad Libs at that age as well). She is highly imaginative and loves pretending, play-acting with her dolls and thinking up big dramatic scenes. She is also very musical, as she has always been, but now is very into singing along with whatever song she hears. When we were in Newport this weekend, we were listening to some street musicians play their entrancing world music, and Ada was glued to them, staring at them as they performed, and she mourned, "I want to play for people like they do!" and pretended to "play my drum" and "shake my maracas" like the musicians. I always knew Ada was more like Jim than she was like me! First the disturbing affection for condiments, and now this.
At daycare, they said they would see if she could go to Preschool II despite not going to the potty. She is doing it if compelled to, but refuses to believe she has to do it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but Rowan was the same way. He was held back a year because of not using the toilet. Yes, I am the number one mother of the universe!! You can't really force people to use the toilet, though. I am trying not to make it seem as if I think it's really important that she use the toilet so she doesn't get a power trip over withholding that pleasure from me, but apparently the incentives of M&Ms, fruit snacks, et al aren't doing it! I always put on a great big enthuastic (and sincere) show when she does go to the potty, I can't do anything more. Rowan is always very good at putting in nice words when she goes to the toilet and giving words of advice about how going to the toilet is better than evacuating in a diaper....Why won't Ada give into society's mores and stop using the diaper?! Oh well. I can't question, just endure.
Ada is just so easygoing, so confident and even if she gets scared or uncertain, I just have to tell her, "Don't worry, you're Ada! You don't need to be scared, you can do it," and she believes me! Rowan is not that trusting. I think I made the mistake of being too sympathetic with Rowan-- Which might give too much credence to his insecurities. This blowing off of Ada's drama rather than sympathizing totally seems to work much better. Maybe that sounds bad, but oh well....
Words of the day
June 29 Late UpdateThis is a neat map of the Milky Way: http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap080606.html
Ancient Rowan headlines
I hesitated to post these because they are rather disturbing, from months ago when we were making up pretend headlines for some reason, but couldn't bring myself to delete them, so here they are-- Examples of Rowan's misguided attempts at humor (of course I explained that the idea of killing, eviscerating and destroying things isn't considered funny, even if you are saying them because you think they wouldn't ever really happen). My son!
Rowan goes to camp
Rowan finished his first week at day camp on Friday-- He doesn't go back again until the last week before school starts. The parent packet clearly states that all campers must follow rules that include two of Rowan's weak points (keeping your hands and body to yourself, and following directions), and anyone not following the rules would be kicked out of camp. So I put both those rules exactly as stated on Rowan's behavior chart for the month leading up to camp (though both have been on the chart very frequently since starting the chart a year ago), and have been trying to emphasize that those are rules everywhere we go. When I took him to the pick-up/drop-off point for camp the first day, he was very happy to be led off by a wacky counselor and I felt reassured-- Then when I came to pick him up, they told me he had a rough day where he was "touchy-feely" with the other kids and at campfire, when everyone gathers together to sing songs, do skits, etc, Rowan sat away from everyone and kept saying he wanted to go home. I was crushed-- I'm sure it showed on my face. I hate thinking he will be a little weird and a nuisance everywhere he goes.
So we talked about it. Rowan thought camp was boring, there was too much hiking, and he hated watching the skits because they were stupid. When they did boating and got to try netting newts and pollywogs, all he caught was some dirt and leaves. I reminded him that he had liked the hiking around the camp when we went to visit the camp at Open House just 5 days before, and he is actually at camp for a shorter time than he is at his school day care. And he wouldn't have gotten to get in a boat to try netting newts if he hadn't been at camp! Then I got him to realize that if campfire is at the end of the day, he knows camp is almost over so there is no point in repeating "I want to go home" during it, etc. Then the next day, he cried when I dropped him off because all the kids are "different," and he wanted me to go to camp with him. I explained that kids seem different until you get to know them and when you get to know them you realize they are all the same, and that the camp was made just for him and other kids to have fun, etc...When I picked him up, they said he had a good day! He felt better about the skits because his group presented one that day (The Invisible Bench).
On Friday morning, Rowan said, "This is the last day of camp....GOOD, it is so boring." Then we had a quick review of things he liked (swimming, boating, arts and crafts, songs, archery). One of the older counselors, a gentle young man called "Banjo" (because he plays banjo) walked in with us and got Rowan excited about the day. When I came to pick Rowan up, "Banjo" and another counselor told me how "amazing" Rowan is. She had been very impressed with Rowan's drawing from the first day at camp, so I assume that is what she was referring to-- While "Banjo" said something that I think was, "He can answer anything!" And he had a great last day where he told me, "I didn't do one thing wrong today!" and actually asked if he could go back to camp on Saturday!
Then he taught us songs he learned at campfire for most of the evening, such as The Telephone Song, The Great Big Moose,. He mentioned learning a new version of Princess Pat where they said "A rick-a-bamboo" instead of "A rigga-rigga bam-bam" like they sing at school; he likes the school version better. Also, a rollicking rendition of The Whipper Whopper Song, and Get D.O.W.N., which we played several rounds of and Rowan demonstrated his typical Saturday Night Fever moves (specifically, much backward and forward strutting, marching, spinning and all sorts of exaggerated pointing). Unfortunately, he won't share the songs with others, like his interested Grandma and Aunt Amy, because he fears being laughed at. Even though he keeps referring to it as boring, I think he acts as if he really enjoyed camp!
Of course, now Ada really wants to camp, so I need to sit down with Jim and figure out a good time to go camping. I still haven't reserved a yurt, I wonder if any are even available now? I bookmarked the locations I liked and just need to have Jim tell me which one he'd want to go to.
Rowan report
So, I'm relieved that he was in a new environment among strange children and caregivers for a week doing a variety of structured activities and seemed to come out fine, since he'll be repeating that in a range of new activities for the summer. I didn't want him staying at the school daycare all summer, so he's doing week-long learning camps (Camp Invention, Awesome Academic Adventures, Discovery Village Day Camps, and Cautious Kids) for half the summer, then at daycare the other half. What is weird is that he never comes home and calls daycare boring, even though I know it isn't very structured. So I don't feel bad about him being there half the summer, though if the camps go well, I might sign him up for more next year. By next year I'll probably really be driving by then, and work won't be so hellish, so that I could take time off to take him to camps outside of town (OMSI, etc). I hope he has a good time! His kindergarten teacher is coordinating the Camp Invention program Rowan is going to, and he said he thought Rowan would love it, so that is reassuring.
I think it was in May that we went to a TAG seminar about SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted). It was basically about establishing community networks so that the parents of gifted children could have each other as resources. Jim and I happened to be sitting in the vicinity of a very annoying family who took their three young children with them, including the gifted child, who frequently interrupted the seminar to graze at the snack table. At the end, the very nice speaker wanted parents to talk with other parents about raising their gifted children, and so we were compelled to talk to the father of this family, which further demonstrated their ineptitude in raising children by saying things like, "He [their gifted child] just won't sit still and needs to do stuff all the time, so he'll stay up all night just drawing something, we don't know what to do," etc. Of course we're supposed to be supporting each other, but my inclination would be to suggest establishing a regular bedtime routine and consequences for staying up all night drawing-- The kid was Rowan's age! You could tell the rest of the room was filled with parents talking more appropriately about actual issues with raising gifted children, rather than a total lack of competence and inability to establish appropriate boundaries for children period, like the family we had to talk to. Oh well. I found out later that week that a co-worker was there and saw me at the seminar! That was neat. She said that was the first time TAG had ever had a program specifically about community networking, and they have programs about twice a year (she has a 13-year old daughter so has been going to these a long time).
The last week of school, we went to the school carnival, which was fun. Rowan misbehaved at school that Thursday, so he was punished by having to sit in the principal's office during Field Day on Friday. The following Monday was his class's Kindergarten Celebration, where they sang their favorite songs, and gave us a tour of the classroom. Then Tuesday was the last day when there was supposed to be a School Picnic, but due to inclement weather it was instead total chaos and we ate lunch in Rowan's classroom (Collier and Sue came to share the awkward and disorganized experience).
We got Rowan's final report card from kindergarten last week, which showed his reading level as 22 (past 3rd grade) and mastering everything, except for the single "N" (Needs Improvement) in the usual realm of "Demonstrates respect for classmates, adults and property." We also got a TAG evaluation dated from March where they referred to Rowan using feminine pronouns-- Wow, thanks for the personal touch! I blame Brooke Shields. Anyway, the evaluation summarized how he is ahead of his peers and their "plan" for him is basically to not do anything different, and there will be a "fall conference" to discuss changes to plans.
So that the house is quiet while Ada starts her nap, and Rowan keeps in the habit of sitting down and doing school-type work, Rowan has an hour of quiet time where he works on a workbook until a CD is done playing. His favorite is the Curious George soundtrack, and he recently discovered the lyrics book to sing along with. So cute!
Ada update
Ada is still reluctant to use the toilet. She did finally use the toilet for the second time in possibly 6 months at school this week, with what sounds like the same dramatic, overlong anguishing while sitting on the toilet-- Though unlike at home, at school she actually ended the ordeal by putting something in the toilet! Now almost all of her friends are moving to the Preschool II class except her, because the prerequisite to entering Preschool II is being potty trained. The same thing happened with Rowan. What is wrong with me that I apparently raise children to be slow at using the toilet?
I thought my mistake with Rowan was that I didn't start early enough, or kept at him too much about going so that he thought of it as a chore. So I tried introducing the wonder of the toilet very early with Ada, and while she seemed interested and clearly understood the concept, she has never wanted to do it. And I also have avoided nagging about the toilet and only going, "Hey, you're still dry! Let's go to the toilet," which is always answered with the horrified banshee wails of, "Nooooooooooooooo, I don't want to go!!!!!!!" Then when I say, "You don't need to scream, that's not nice," Ada qualifies her statement with, "I only pee in the potty. I won't poop there!"
I realize it sounds like I'm dwelling too much on this aspect of Ada's development. She is very smart, loves reading, can spell her name and count past 20, knows her alphabet and talks very well (when she chooses to)! She is highly independent and wants to do everything herself, then gets in a high dudgeon when she realizes she isn't physically capable of doing something by herself (like folding a large blanket) the way bigger people can, then screams angrily at people who offer to help her (apparently disgusted at herself for needing help and angry at people condescending to her by offering help). I'm focusing on teaching her to put toys away when she's done playing with them before moving onto a new toy or activity, being comfortable with people helping, asking nicely, and staying at the table for meals.
Yesterday, because it was so unbearably hot, I suggested going outside and playing in the sprinklers after lunch (and an hour of playacting with Little People and Dora's Magical Castle). I just always remember how, when Rowan was 2-3 years old, we would play outside in the sprinklers/wading pool and when he laid down for a nap, slept forever. One time, I put him down for a late nap and he didn't get up until morning! I doubt Ada has ever had that sensation of being totally, luxuriously conked out! She likes being in full command of her senses. Anyway, Ada seemed to like the idea of sprinkler play and enthusiastically got into her swimsuit, but got very dramatic when I actually turned the sprinklers on. The sprinklers only go up to my knees and spray a very rain-like shower across the lawn, but Ada thought it was scary and wasn't consoled by watching Rowan and me frolic fearlessly around the yard in the sprinkles. It was a throwback to when she was two years old and screaming about going through a sprinkler while carried in my arms. I carried her "through" (really, over) the sprinklers and doubt she even got wet! Oh well. Maybe she is unconsciously protecting herself against that luxurious conked-out feeling that seems to only come from playing in water on a hot day. At least Rowan enjoyed it! She sat and ate a snack while Rowan and I leaped around some more. Maybe today I can set up the wading pool where the old play structure used to be.
Work woes
Work is endless, thankless and coming every which way-- We recently interviewed for our vacant writer's position and had 4 strong candidates, but two of them were dream candidates-- One is very strong on communications planning and publications design (plus takes her own photos for publications, which our now-manager has wanted us to do for some time), the other is big on social marketing and just finding new ways of communicating things, she was amazing! Anyway, one of current writers is retiring in August so we get to fill two positions instead of just one, so we'll get to hire both of these people.
I'm still leery of the idea of these two outstanding people coming into our disorganized unit. I don't know if it's our recent change in management and lead worker or what, but everything seems even more disorganized and unprofessional than ever. Part of it is how work is being thrown at us every which way, but I still feel a little bit that part of it is that we are not really being managed anymore. We have always been a self-directed work team, but really our lead worker did a lot of directing in how she assigned us projects, and with the changes and new lead worker, there is no direction. After all the talk about getting into communications planning and being more proactive about how we do things, it feels like we are now being thrown back to just doing what people tell us to do, which has nothing to do with planning or being proactive. So now I'm scared of what the new writers will think when they have demonstrated in their work history how they are into planning and doing new things. Oh well, we'll see.
Odds and ends
After we got our tax refund and stimulus payment in May, we bought a play structure kit and spent a couple of weekends putting that together, and had the boy next door coming back and forth most of the time-- That was nice but made me more painfully aware of Ada needing a friend to play with her age. I haven't noticed any 3-year olds in our immediate vicinity and when I see a parent on a walk with their 3-year old I feel weird saying, "Oh, we have a 3-year old, where do you live?" I don't know, it just seems awkward. I need to sign Rowan and Ada up for swim lessons. I had been telling Ada that she needed to learn to go potty before taking swim lessons with her preschool class (which is true) and I'm pretty sure it would be true of the Y, since that is where they go at daycare for swim lessons-- But I need to call and double-check. She did love swim lessons last year. Though she is too old for the class where I get in the pool with her, so I wonder how she'd do in a regular swim class. Hm....
Last month I started driving practice in earnest, driving for 15 minutes every morning around the neighborhood before taking the kids to school, then finally driving them both to school, and now I'm practicing driving home. Last weekend, I actually drove to another city! I need to practice turning corners and being cognizant of stop signs/ lights. I don't know why two of the most important things to be good at, I am bad at (relatively)! I'm walking from work to daycare to pick up Ada now that the weather is nice and because Jim has been regularly late picking her up, so the nonstop work of work on top of speed walking every evening to daycare plus driving practice before and after work basically wears me out, but I am just enjoying being at home with the kids more than ever. I'm also taking interest in yard work and making the outdoor parts of our home look nice, which is a change for me (I always considered that Jim's job), and I still want the kitchen refaced, do a lighter color in the living room (I knew dark green was a bad idea in the family room, so why did I let Jim do it?), new countertops/tile in the bathrooms, and we need to get a real shower in Rowan and Ada's bathroom. They're still getting baths because the "shower" is just a handheld thing on a weird adapter attached to the faucet.
A couple weekends ago, we made some board games. Of course, Rowan's board game rules were the most complex. He designed, named, and made up the rules for Race You to the End; I drew up a board for Ada so she could paint her own board game while Rowan and I painted Race You to the End. She did a great job! Since we made one game that used a die, and one that used cards, Rowan wanted to make a third game using a spinner. I made the spinner but couldn't get it to spin, so of course Rowan fixed it! Rowan designed the board, while Rowan and I made up the rules for the third game together. We couldn't agree on a name; I thought "Getting to Know You" would be a good name, but Rowan seemed to want a name that captures all the nuances of the game. So it was just The Nameless Game until last night, when Sue and Amy came over for dinner and I think Sue suggested The Rowan Game since Ada's game was named The Ada Game. That wouldn't have crossed my mind because Ada named her game The Ada Game, which Rowan and I laughed about because it was a silly name for a game!
The Ada Game
Race You to the End
The Rowan Game
Words of the day
May 07 Bloggity blog blogOK, my words of day list is pathetically long, so I'm going to pound out this entry and post some pictures. That is the tone of recent days-- Pounding stuff out at work with little enjoyment, and generally running around with my head chopped off. This week is spirit week at Rowan's school, so we'll be going to a school carnival, which should hopefully be fun. At work, it is just hectic as usual. We got our taxes done at the 11th hour, as usual, and found that because of the substantial raises we both experienced in the past year, Jim and I need to start thinking about deferring income so that we aren't taxed on it all--Flexible spending accounts, increasing 401K contributions, etc. We also found that we pay over $10,000 a year on daycare! Oh, joy. I realize it adds up but seeing all totaled like that was rather distasteful. And that could have all been deferred to an FSA and then spending that much would have been a benefit! Oh well.
Jarvis Cocker
He can cover Eye of the Tiger, Purple Haze and Paranoid and sends a little videographed kiss to giggling teenage girls around the world-- Wonderful! And make scads of young women walk like synchronized panthers? He is amazing! And he is working on a new album, hooray!
Wistful work
Anyway, I applied for the leadworker position but naturally didn't qualify-- But I talked to my manager about my qualms about applying and she assured me that she was glad I had applied and was surprised I wasn't on the list. Sob! At least I can say I tried. I just need another two years under my belt. I found out who the 3 candidates are for the position and was surprised at just one of them. I crafted some questions for the panel that gear toward the best possible outcome (i.e., someone who actually knows about design/layout and working effectively with stakeholders). My focus is on technological prowess (in the desktop publishing realm) and social marketing, an occupational passion since I discovered it! I was asked to sit on the interview panel but chose not to because of one of the candidates-- A somewhat creepy individual who basically stalked me for quite some time to try and lure me to his point of view. I know in his mind it was all entirely benevolent, but he still creeps me out and I don't want to be seen as someone who was at all responsible for his not possibly getting the job. Anyway, one of our current writers is now the leadworker-- It will be interesting to see who comes in as a new writer and if anything really changes around here.
Anyway, the interview questions I submitted make me chortle. To paraphrase, one of them is, "Show us 3 samples of work you personally created for department clients, providers, or stakeholders. Why did you choose to make them like this? What software did you produce them on?" This makes me laugh because one of the candidates would just write the text and have a design professional put it in the appropriate format. And two of the candidates have probably never produced material in anything other than MS Word. The other one is, "Look at these 3 samples. Which one do you think is the most suitable for publication, and why? What you would you do to improve any of these?" Because we want the person selected for the position to be able to discern crud when s/he sees it and be able to provide constructive criticism to repair the damage! Ha ha. I had fun selecting samples from past letters that have actually been distributed to our audiences-- It is painful to contemplate that some of them saw the light of day but hopefully the candidates will think they are just "pretend" letters and not real ones. One of the samples I selected uses the grotesquely unprofessional Bauhaus Heavy font. Maybe that font is appropriate for a rave flyer but a postcard to health care providers? Painful!
In other news, I recently had to attend a conference call with some of the people in my agency I most respect and admire-- Who I think have always thought I was so top drawer-- And get dressed down via telephone by a very pompous-sounding federal bureaucrat about being behind in my production of those quarterly and annual reports I am always doing. Perhaps you recall from past missives how I have always dreaded in the back of my mind the possibility that I would someday be reprimanded for my tardiness with these reports, though no predecessor has ever submitted them in a timely manner and I actually broke the slump by submitting them timely 3 quarters in a row! But the 2006 redesign process got me way behind-- The fact that I only received final instructions from the federal government on how to do reports from 3Q07 forward last month had me lagging a bit. So really of my own accord I'm only 1 quarter behind, the rest is due to the sluggishness of bureaucracy.
I had to endure several painful days of those cohorts whom I so admire stopping by my desk to tell me how sorry they were that I had to endure that phone call, thus I had to relive the pain again and again. Plus comments like, "I was going to come up to you and say, WHERE ARE THOSE REPORTS?, but I just couldn't do it" (presumably because of the agony apparent on my face at having to face someone who witnessed the embarrassing conference call). But it did make me feel good that all these people whom I look up to didn't think worse of me and were really defending me and reassuring me about the whole humiliating thing (which only lasted maybe 3 minutes in reality). The "Kim magic" manager was also at the call and he made a point of telling me, "I don't care what they say, I love your reports, don't change a thing!" Yes, he is still besotted with Kim magic even after that embarrassment! Then my manager came back from vacation and found out about the call and I had to relive it all over again a week later! But she didn't know about the fact that it was in front of all these people I admire until I told her.
She then commented how weird it was that me, the person with the most personal dignity in the unit, has had to endure such embarrassments. This was in reference to some other relatively recent crap I have had to endure with my sharing very rough drafts of communications with people and then having them distributed wholesale for review and comment behind my back-- When I had clearly indicated that they were rough drafts and I would send a review-ready draft at a later date. So I had to go through a slew of pointless comments that could have been avoided if this person had just waited for my review-ready draft. Not to get technical, but the communication was a 2-page 11x17 French fold (or quarter fold), so with double-sided printing and the right folds each page was 8.5 x 11. But because this person who forwarded my rough draft didn't understand this, he printed it at 8.5 x1 1 dimensions so the font size was miniscule-- As happens if you "shrink to fit" an 11 x 17 page to an 8.5x11 page. Of course for review I would have converted the format so it would print as 8.5 x 11 with appropriate font size for each page-- But I didn't get that opportunity so instead I got a lot of useless comments about upping the font size. Agh.
As a unit, we are now committing to tracking our time on the various projects we do, so I researched time tracking tools and found Toggl-- Which is great except that when you have Toggl Desktop running, Windows won't shut down until you shut the Toggl Desktop down. Which is no big deal, you just hit "Exit" before logging out. Now I have the benefit of seeing my open projects staring at me in the face until I start work on them and press the red Toggl button to start tracking my time-- We do track projects on a high level using a group "production calendar" but have had no real way to track actual time spent on projects until now. But I love Toggl! When you walk away from an open task for more than 20 minutes, when you come back and realize you forgot to press the stop button for the task, Toggl Desktop tells you (paraphrase), "You've been away for X minutes. Do you want to add this time to your task, or take it off?" I can't believe how perfect it is (except for the thing about the PC not shutting down if Toggl Desktop is running). And it's free! So that's the one current bright spot at work. How pathetic.
Rowan report
More testaments of dorkiness-- Apparently displaying his private parts in the bathroom and also peeking in the crack between the wall and door of bathroom stalls to see if a stall is vacant. To Rowan's credit, he only peeked to see if a stall was free. Of course, I pointed out that since bathroom stalls can only be closed from inside a stall, that if a bathroom stall is closed, you basically know the stall is in use and should just wait until someone comes out ("wait your turn"). I did point out the concept of looking under the door for feet but since that gets you close enough for peeking, reverted to the "a closed stall is a used stall" idea.
Anyway, as a result of his current public bathroom indiscretions, Rowan's PM computer lab time at school has been spent with typing repeated instances of "I will make good choices in the bathroom" and "I will not peek in the bathroom." Perversely, Rowan enjoys this because he loves anything having to do with creating words or images on a computer. Good going, school! For my part, I have pointed out to Rowan that if he wants to spend computer lab time typing, he can just tell a teacher that he wants to type and they will happily open MS Word for him-- He doesn't need to do something naughty and get tasked with redundant sentence-writing to earn an opportunity to type on a computer. I am half-tempted to tell Rowan about Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V in regard to the repeated typing of sentences, but of course see morally why I shouldn't. He already knows about Ctrl-Z.
In other news, we got a letter from the school district deeming Rowan "intellectually gifted" so I had to fill out some rather redundant paperwork about his interests and strengths for TAG. I also requested a conference to discuss how to address his giftedness in the school setting, since Jim seems fixated on the idea that this is of prime importance. I think it's more important that Rowan learn to be "normal" rather than get a lot of attention about what makes him more than "normal," but we'll see what happens. Although the meeting with the district psychologist, autism expert and special ed folks did seem to indicate that Rowan does not have Asperger's or any other definable condition warranting special education accommodations (though I still wonder about PDD-NOS), I don't want the "gifted" label to be an excuse for Rowan not being like everyone else. Since the Asperger's possibility was brought up I have had it in the back of my mind that being "intellectually gifted" is really seen as a handicap (as this article suggests)-- Is Rowan "gifted" because of a disorder, or do people just think he has a disorder because he's gifted? Does it make a difference? Sigh. We have gotten some notices about seminars for TAG parents, so I think Jim and I will go to the one this week about increasing network supports for TAG kids/parents-- That should be good for us, who are so personally disinclined to networking in any capacity. Anyway,
Rowan's class had a trip to the Rickreall Dairy recently, and since I am overwhelmed with work, I asked Sue if she would go-- So she went with Rowan, and they apparently had a good time! They fed a baby calf a bottle and saw the workings of a dairy. Rowan also noted that there was a wall "dripping with milk" and Sue stood against it, then got herself all wet in a puddle of milk! Interesting, I still don't understand exactly how that came about....
Then Rowan today, frustrated that Jim stopped at a local music store on the way home from school/work, exclaimed, "If Dad can choose to stop at a music store when none of us want to wait outside the store, then I can choose to not go to school anymore!" Further explaining that he could learn whatever he needed to at home, because he loves being at home and it's so much fun. Plus, "I already know everything I need to know for school!" While I do believe home school can be as good, if not better, than traditional school, I pointed out that since Jim and I work, Rowan couldn't have a teacher at home. He then explained that he could "make his own sheets" and "do his own work" at home. What a horrible idea, Rowan printing out his own worksheets at home or just working alone in workbooks while Jim slept and I was at work. I still picture myself someday staying at home full time, but it doesn't seem economically feasible until Rowan is at least in middle school....I pointed out how Rowan would be very lonely if he stayed at home and that a big part of going to school is learning how to work with other people, which is something that people need to learn about all their lives. I wonder how depressing that sounded to Rowan!
In other news, I finally stepped a little bit out of my shell this weekend and called our neighbors to ask if their 6-year old could come over and play with Rowan. That was nice! I'll feel better about asking more often since the neighbor dad said "Thank you!" several times, as if we were doing a favor by having the son over. The neighbor boy was very excited to come over and exclaimed after the initial run through the house, "Wow, your house is exactly the same as the last time I came over!" It is weird to see how young the neighbor boy seems compared to Rowan-- It's hard to believe they're less than a year apart. I love my brainy, articulate, debating bespectacled guy, who tells me, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world!" When I remind him that I'm a lady and that he should only say things he means, he says, "But I do mean it, you are the prettiest mommy ever!" So great-- He is adept at sweet-talking the ladies at age 6 and now I fear his bringing home some version of me in late adolescence! Bleh, creepy thought....
Ada update
Or maybe Rowan is just mocking the way I tell Ada she is the prettiest, sweetest lady ever? Ada is still as delightful, dramatic, and helpful as usual-- And still reluctant to use the toilet. Non-parents probably can't imagine the frustration about having a perfectly charming, intelligent, and unusually coordinated 3-year old offspring balk at doing something so ostensibly simple as pull her pants down and sit on a toilet and let what is supposed to happen, happen! As anyone could imagine, the older a child gets, the more disgusted some parents (such as myself) get about having to change diapers. We have now transitioned from diapers to pull-ups permanently and I have told Ada, "These are underwear until you get them dirty or wet. When you pee or poop in them, they turn into diapers. Big girls don't wear diapers!" She still apparently has that "losing part of myself" anxiety about going to the bathroom.
Mom came over on Saturday and took the kids to the park-- And before they left, Mom asked Ada if she would go to the potty before they left...And Ada just walked right over and did it! Of course, nothing came out, but gee, the magic of Nana! Mom thought it was because she, a "stranger" asked her to do it instead of me. And indeed, after a long morning with Nana, when Mom asked Ada to go to the bathroom again, Ada apparently felt comfortable enough to refuse to do it! Oh well, it was amazing while it lasted (one mere morning!). Alas. I have now started setting the kitchen timer hourly, so when it rings, I tell Ada that we need to practice going to the potty, and she gets a smile on her chart for doing it, even if nothing comes out. If by some miracle of sheer physical duress overpowering Ada's immense willpower, something actually came out in the toilet, Ada would get a candy, such as an M&M or other treat. Ada's favorite treats are M&Ms and the disgusting fruit snacks. I remember seeing fruit snacks in one preschooler's constant grasp and thinking, "Yuck, how can her parents keeping giving her that stuff?" We don't keep any at home, except for what Collier gives Ada on Sunday dinner nights. They are as good as gold to Ada, who sometimes even insists on having a fruit snack package sitting on her bedside table for her gaze at as she falls asleep. She doesn't even care if she eats (thus undermining its value as potty motivation), it's so weird! Rowan never showed such affection for any food or snack. This is where Ada takes after Jim, and Rowan, me. Anyway, she has been dutifully going to the potty hourly for the most part, but she refuses to let anything come out. She prides herself on saying, "I'm very good at not letting my pee come out until I go to sleep!" So she clearly acknowledges that going potty is a conscious effort that she is deliberately thwarting! Sigh.
Ada's favorite books are still those of the Berenstain Bears series, though I am quite cheered by her recent interest in Gus and the Baby Ghost. Whenever she wears something with a skirt on it, she declares herself "a pretty, pretty princess!!!!" and dances around ad nauseam. She was very excited about my recent eBay purchase of several nightclothes, including a Disney-princess themed nightgown that brought on the "pretty, pretty princess!!!!!" cries even more. Please know that I have never called her a "pretty, pretty princess!!!!!" or in any way encouraged an emphasis on looking, being, or dressing like a pretty princess! When she picks a book or movie with a princess in it, I read or show it to her but I don't make a big deal about the princess or how pretty she is-- Rather, of course, other qualities such as the princess's intelligence, good nature, etc. Though if Ada comments on how pretty the princess is, or how pretty her dress is, I acknowledge said prettiness to respect Ada's opinion and her powers of observation (while again bringing into the conversation other non-visual qualities the princess possesses). And I did put a Cinderella dress-up costume on her Amazon Wish List, but only because I know she likes dressing up and likes princesses, not to explicitly encourage "dressing like a princess"! Oh well, I just don't want to reject an interest of hers for no good reason.
In a recent survey of Old Navy online sales, I was dismayed to |
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